You’re probably wondering what ever happened to the person you fell in love with. Where is that person who understood your every need? I’m guessing you don’t feel loved in the same way you did when you first started going out. You can probably even pinpoint when everything started to change. Ever since then you’ve been riding an emotional rollercoaster. Only this one you can’t get off because it never stops long enough.
I bet from the beginning you thought your partner would change. After all you did, right? And now you either get into arguments over the smallest things or one of you shuts down so you can’t even say what’s on your mind. Do you even remember the last time your partner tried to understand your point of view? You would even settle for a little empathy. And if you want your partner’s undivided attention, you’re going to have to cancel the phone and internet plans. Come on! I mean how hard is it to keep your phone in your pocket at dinner? Every time you see your partner on a screen, you’re ready to leave!
You don’t understand what’s so difficult. You both love each other. So why do you feel alone and lonely in your relationship? If you ask your partner why his/her favorite sports team isn’t doing as well as they could, the answer is likely going to be that they’re not working together as a team. Bingo! What ‘team’ could be more important than the two of you?
Relationships trigger our deepest fears which can cause one partner to become critical and controlling and the other to get defensive and take everything personally. I can help both of you learn how to say what you mean and mean what you say and NOT in a mean way. I can help you do this by teaching you The Couples Conversation™️. The Couples Conversation™️ comes from my 24 years of learning, practicing and teaching a psychospiritual process called Inner Bonding© and adapting it to couple’s work.
I first learned about Inner Bonding in 1994 when a friend gave me one of Dr. Margaret Paul’s Inner Bonding books, Healing Your Aloneness. I had been despairing ever since an intimate relationship had ended. I realized I was suffering because I gave myself away in relationships. I abandoned myself every time by caretaking my partner. When I did this a part of me sank into a very hopeless place. By practicing the 6 Steps of Inner Bonding© I learned how to value myself and not take responsibility for other people’s thoughts, feelings and behavior.
Because I personally experienced how practicing Inner Bonding empowered me to co-create a loving life with my wife, I decided to help other individuals and couples also find their joy. I obtained my Master of Social Work from New York University and then became a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in New Jersey. In 2002 I became one of the first Inner Bonding facilitators, started assisting Dr. Margaret Paul at her workshops and co-led the East Coast Inner Bonding Intensive. I was a trainer for the first Inner Bonding Facilitator Training Program 2017-2018 and am co-leading the 2018-2019 Inner Bonding Facilitator Training Program. I was also ordained as a psychospiritual minister for the Association of the Integration of the Whole Person.
I became a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist and was profiled on the acclaimed PBS-TV series, Real Moms, Real Stories, Real Savvy as a couple’s therapist. I currently have a private practice in Cranford, NJ where I specialize in Couples and Relationship Counseling.
In a previous life, I was a music talent scout for Famous Music Publishing, Paramount Picture’s music division. I express my creativity and joy through playing piano, songwriting, swing dancing and writing children’s books with my wife.