Do You Dress to Impress or Dress to Express?
You might be asking yourself, what’s the difference and how does this impact my relationship?
The difference lies in your intention. If a part of you, which Inner Bonding® calls the Wounded Self, is dressing to impress, then you’re trying to get something from others. You might want people to view you in a way that makes you feel valued, important and worthy. When you dress to impress, you’re using how you look to try to control how others feel about you.
If a higher part of you, which Inner Bonding® calls your Loving Adult, is dressing to express, then you are giving expression to your authentic self without any attachment to an outcome.
In your relationship, do you find that you also do certain things to try to control your partner?
Here are some common ways I see partners trying to get something from their partner, i.e., dressing to impress:
1. Shutting down emotionally and/or physically to get him to treat you better
2. Getting angry at your partner so that he will do what you want him to do
3. Going along with your partner’s decisions when you don’t agree, to get him to like you or even stay with you
4. Being the person your partner wants you to be in order to get his approval
5. Telling your partner you love him or miss him, so that he tells you he loves you or misses you
You are conveying your true self to your partner, i.e., dressing to express yourself, when you:
1. Speak your truth even though there’s a chance that he will react in unloving ways
2. Do what is in your highest good even if you risk losing him
3. Pursue your passions even if it means you’ll spend less time with him
4. Make yourself happy and share your happiness with him
5. Choose to be vulnerable so that you can have a more intimate relationship
When you set your intention to express your loving self rather than to impress your partner, you create a healthier and more loving and intimate relationship. See what happens when you show up as the best version of yourself.