Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy in New Jersey

Thank you for visiting my therapy practice. I’m Michael Barmak, MSW, LCSW, and I provide both in person and virtual marriage counseling and couples therapy in New Jersey. While couples may schedule counseling for a whole range of reasons, I believe communication is at the heart of most relationship struggles. Every couple will disagree, but when you know how to communicate with kindness and compassion and want to understand each other, it’s easier to navigate any argument.  In short, it’s not WHAT you’re talking about; it’s HOW you’re talking about it that makes all the difference.

You're Wondering

• Whatever happened to the person I fell in love with?
• Where is that person who understood my every need?
• Why doesn’t he listen to me anymore?
• Why doesn’t she make time for me anymore?
• Why can’t we get on the same page?
• When did our relationship start to feel like we’re just roommates?
• Is it too late?
• How can I ever let go of the past and forgive my partner?
• Why does a simple question become an argument?

You Feel

• Unloved and uncared for because your partner doesn't pay attention to you or want to know you the way your partner used to.
• Frustrated or angry about the little things that never get resolved and the same issue that keeps coming back up.  You'll break down and cry and then you'll both hug and one week later your partner goes back to how he/she was.
• Alone because your partner isn't doing anything to help your relationship get better and doesn't make you a priority.
• Disconnected because you have different parenting styles or your partner never helps with the kids.
• Lonely because your partner doesn't listen to you, try to understand you or empathize with you.
• Afraid to have a conversation because it always leads to an argument and you don't want to risk your partner's reaction.
• Unappreciated because your partner doesn't notice all the things you do for your relationship and instead tells you what you're doing wrong.
• Misinterpreted, impatient and blamed
• Hurt by the way your partner talks to you
• Tired of always being the one who tries and says "I'm sorry."

You're Thinking

• If only we'd meet halfway on things, we'd be able to move forward.  We both have work to do.
• I didn't sign up for an adversarial relationship where I'm not getting what I need and want.
• I'm never going to be able to trust my partner if my partner's unwilling to take personal responsibility.
• I don't know how I can make myself vulnerable and risk being hurt and having my heart broken again.
• If this doesn't change, I don't know how I can continue in this relationship.  I'm seriously considering separation.
• I can't be physically intimate with my partner when he acts unloving to me

You Want

• To stay together because this is the only person you want to be with.  You don't want to lose your best friend.
• To create the happy family you didn't grow up in.
• To be a healthy relationship role model for your kids.
• More romance and to get back to being a couple not just co-parenting
• To understand your triggers and how to either manage or avoid them
• To take your relationship to the next step and see if you are ready to get married.
• To save your marriage and if not, be able to walk away feeling like you've tried everything

Counseling is Your Safe Space to Get Answers and Explore These Emotions

Do you even remember the last time your partner tried to understand your point of view or showed a little empathy? Unfortunately, this is all too common in even the strongest relationships. You feel you’ve run into a wall. You stop moving forward. You get stuck in a cycle of bickering and having the same fight over and over, or you just stop talking and feel distant.

You’ve tried everything you can think of to make your relationship work.  So, you're probably thinking, what's going to be different if we try marriage counseling? A lot! In your very first couples or marriage counseling session with me, you're going to experience a different kind of conversation with your partner where:

• You get to share your feelings without being interrupted or told you're wrong
• You feel appreciated rather than being taken for granted or having your feelings discounted
• Your partner listens to you, validates your point of view, and demonstrates empathy
• You feel like you're on the same team rather than one or both of you trying to be right
• You replace arguing with understanding

How I Can Help

As a licensed clinical social worker, I have offered marriage counseling with countless people, helping them cope with difficult situations and create more fulfilling partnerships. My passion is helping couples build and sustain meaningful and satisfying relationships. If you’re struggling or just don’t feel the love anymore, let’s get together and start moving forward to achieve a deeper and more meaningful connection with your partner.

In my years of training and experience, I have found two therapy approaches that are especially beneficial for couples – Inner Bonding and Imago Relationship Therapy.  I’m ready and able to adjust my therapy approach to meet your unique needs, but these two underlying theories allow me to help couples communicate more effectively, achieve a more meaningful commitment, and develop more fulfilling relationships.

I Can Help You Learn How To:

• Heal your triggers
• Get on the same page as your partner
• Communicate in a healthier way so that you feel what you say matters, understood and that your partner knows what you're feeling
• Deal with conflict by being open to learning with your partner and if necessary, setting a healthy boundary and disengaging
• Let go of past resentments
• Rebuild trust
• Bring back the passion in your relationship
• Create win-win situations
• Make it more important to be loving and understanding than it is to argue and try to be right
• Make yourself happy and share your happiness with your partner
• Live a joyful life

Marriage Counseling for Every Step of Your Relationship Journey

If you're ready to learn these new couples skills, get out of the rut you find yourself stuck in, feel more hopeful about your relationship and start to rekindle your romance, contact me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to find out more about couples and marriage counseling in New Jersey and how it can move your relationship forward.

Blog

Couples Workshop

How to Improve Communication in Your Relationship 

(and stop arguing over the small stuff!)

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Download my article on how to deal with conflict in your relationship

"How to Stop Fighting So Your Relationship Has a Fighting Chance"

Learn the two loving actions you can take when your partner is blaming, controlling, criticizing, judging, shaming or getting angry at you.

FREE COUPLES ARTICLE