Making Your Partner Your Priority

During a couple’s session, one partner will often ask, “What if I'm not interested in what my partner wants to talk about?”

I get it. There are times your partner is saying something that you don’t care about. So what if instead, you focused on how much you care about your partner? If you did this, you might tell yourself, whatever is important to my partner is important to me, even if what she wants to talk about isn't important to me.

When you communicate this to her, she’ll feel valued and cared for by you. From my experience, partners who feel seen, supported and respected create more intimate, satisfying and joyful relationships.

Here are five ways to let your partner know she’s a priority when you’re listening to her:

  •      Eliminate distractions so that you can give your her your full attention. This might look like turning off the TV 
         (not just muting it), closing the cover of your computer and waiting until later to read your texts. 
  •      Let her know that what she’s saying makes sense and that you understand her perspective.
  •      Empathize by letting her know you can imagine what she’s feeling.
  •      Be open to learning by asking more about her topic
  •      If you can’t listen to her in the moment, commit to a specific day and time when you’ll talk with her.

When you take these loving actions, you let your partner know that she matters to you. It doesn’t mean you’re always going to stop what you’re doing to focus on her. It doesn’t mean you’re always going to put her at the top of your to-do list. What it does mean is that you take her needs, wants and opinions seriously, that you have her best interest at heart and that you are always there to support her. When you take these loving actions, she’ll know that you’re making her and your relationship priorities.

How often do you feel like a priority?

I can help you and your partner learn how to better communicate what you need to feel cared for.  Call me for a free consultation to start learning how to feel more valued by your partner.