1. Who do you work with?
I work with individuals and couples.
2. When you work with couples do you always see both partners together?
I typically meet with both partners together for the first session. Then I'll meet with each partner separately to complete their individual intakes and then meet with the couple again. From then on, most of the sessions are with both partners although I often meet one or two more times with each partner separately to address any individual issues that are impacting their relationship negatively.
3. How long do you usually work with couples
My goal is to do short-term work with couples. I find that couples that are able to work through their issues more quickly have certain following qualities. Each partner:
- Takes personal responsibility for their feelings, thoughts and behavior rather than blaming their partner.
- Truly values and feels compassion for them self rather than feeling unworthy and being self-critical
- Sets loving boundaries
- Doesn't take his/her partner’s behavior personally.
- Makes it more important to be loving than it is to be right
4. Does insurance cover couples therapy and marriage counseling?
Each insurance plan is different. You'll need to check with your insurance company to see if couples therapy and marriage counseling are covered benefits. If they are, I would be an out of network provider for you.
5. What if my partner doesn’t want to join me in counseling?
I often work with only one partner which I call, 'Couples Counseling for One.' My experience is that when one partner changes, the relationship changes. So by taking better care of yourself which includes learning how to set loving boundaries, you give your partner the opportunity to make different choices.
6. Can you fix our relationship?
You and your partner can choose to make your relationship work at any time. I haven't met a couple that couldn't make their relationship work. However I have met individual partners who aren't willing to do the work to make this happen.
What I can do is help you make this choice by teaching you skills, identifying your blind spots where you're reacting in unloving ways, and helping you learn how to value yourself so that you can share your love with your partner. I make recommendations and give you weekly assignments so that you can not only learn new ways of being and acting but also start integrating them into your life and expressing them with your partner.
7. What is the first session like?
If you're coming in as a couple, I’ll always start each session with each of you sharing something positive about your partner that you appreciate and are grateful for. It might be a quality like compassion or a behavior like showing up for the couples session. Then I'll have you experience a different way of communicating where both of you listen, validate and express empathy for each other.
If you're coming in for yourself, I'll start with an intake so I can learn how you became the person you are today, what you're looking for help with and your strengths and limitations. I'll also have you start learning and applying self-healing concepts such as taking personal responsibility, being open to learning, having compassion for yourself and identifying and taking loving actions for yourself so that you feel higher self-worth, fulfilled, joyful and peaceful.
8. How soon will I know if working with you will be helpful?
You'll know in your first session if I’m the right person to help you achieve your goals. Trust your intuition and notice if you're feeling hopeful.
9. Do I need to complete any paperwork?
I'll send you an encrypted email which includes the HIPAA Notice of Privacy, my Informed Consent/Office Policies, a Telehealth Informed Consent, a Good Faith Estimate and a Credit Card Authorization. You’ll fill out/initial/sign these forms and bring them along with a copy of your ID to your first session with me.